Last Updated:

October 15th, 2024

Grief and Addiction

Grief is a powerful emotion that can leave you feeling lost, empty and alone. Amid such overwhelming pain, it is natural to look for ways to escape, and for some people, that can be found in alcohol, drugs or other addictive behaviours. But this path often leads to more suffering, as addiction takes hold and makes the grieving process even tougher. If you are caught in this cycle, remember that healing is possible. With the right help, you can learn to navigate your grief without losing yourself to addiction.

Man in tension in front of doctor

What is grief?

Grief is the deep sorrow that comes from losing someone or something important to you. It often comes out as a complex mix of emotions that can leave you feeling lost, angry, confused or completely numb. Everyone experiences grief differently and there is no “right” way to grieve. For some, grief comes in waves, sometimes overwhelming and other times barely noticeable. For others, it is a constant, heavy presence that never seems to lift.

Grief can shake the very foundation of your life, leaving you unsure of how to move forward. However, it is important to remember that grief is a natural response to loss and while it can feel unbearable at times, it is also a sign of the deep connections and love you have shared.

What are the stages of grief?

Grief is often described as a journey; like any journey, it has different stages. Everyone’s experience with grief is unique, so you may experience the stages of grief in a different order, go back and forth between them or miss some altogether:

Denial

This is often the first reaction to grief. You might feel numb, in shock or unable to believe what has happened. Denial helps you survive the initial wave of pain, giving you time to process what has happened slowly.

Anger

As the reality of grief starts to sink in, it is common to feel angry – angry at the situation, at others or even at the person who has passed away. You may find yourself asking, “Why me?” or “Why now?” without any answers. This anger can feel overwhelming but it’s a natural part of the grieving process.

Bargaining

During this stage, you might find yourself thinking about “what if” or “if only” scenarios. You might try to make deals in your mind, hoping that you could somehow change the outcome or lessen the pain. It is a way to try and regain a sense of control during a time when life feels very unpredictable.

Depression

This stage can feel like a deep sadness or a sense of hopelessness. You might find it hard to get out of bed, eat or take care of yourself. It is important to remember that this sadness is a normal response to loss and while it can feel never-ending, it is often a necessary part of healing.

Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean you don’t care about the loss or that you have moved on. It means you have come to terms with the reality of what has happened. Hopefully, at this stage, you can begin to look towards the future, even if it’s just one small step at a time.

What is the relationship between grief and addiction?

Grief and addiction often co-exist as dual diagnosis conditions. This is when a person has both a mental health and addiction issue at the same time and they feed off each other. This creates a self-fuelling cycle that can keep you trapped in the stages of grief and using substances to try and cope.

At first, you may be trying to temporarily “drown your sorrows” with alcohol or using drugs to try and numb the intense pain of grief. However, if you become reliant on substances or even addictive behaviours like gambling, sex or shopping to manage your emotions, addiction can quickly take hold.

The stronger your addiction becomes, the more your grief can deepen, as these substances or behaviours often dull the ability to process emotions, keeping you stuck in a state of unresolved pain. This can lead to a vicious cycle where the grief drives the addiction, and the addiction, in turn, intensifies the grief.

What does effective grief and addiction treatment require?

It is very important that rehab treatment does not just focus on addiction behaviours without addressing the deep emotional pain that comes with grief. Ignoring one can lead to a relapse in the other and leave you back at square one.

Oasis Runcorn focuses on treating addiction while taking the unique challenges of grief into account. Our programmes are designed to help you break free from addiction while also learning to manage the intense emotions that loss can bring.

Sad man sitting on a bed

Here are some of the most effective approaches:

Group therapy

In group therapy, healing happens together. You will discover that others are walking the same path as you and together, you can help each other find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Individual therapy

Grieving can feel overwhelming, especially when combined with addiction. Our one-on-one therapy sessions give you a safe, private space to unpack those feelings, helping you find clarity and strength to move forward.

Behavioural therapies (CBT/DBT)

Experiencing grief in addiction recovery can keep bringing you back to painful thoughts that shape your behaviour. Therapies like CBT and DBT can help you break free from the patterns that have been holding you back.

Family therapy

Rebuilding relationships after addiction and grief can be tough but family therapy offers a safe space for honest conversations and healing. Together, you will work on understanding each other’s pain and finding ways to come together as a stronger, more connected family.

Holistic therapies

Holistic therapies like meditation, yoga and guided art therapy provide a peaceful escape, helping you ground yourself in the present. They are all about nurturing your body, mind and spirit and building resilience against the challenges of grief and addiction.

Continued support after rehab

Your recovery journey continues long after rehab treatment and our aftercare programme is designed to make sure you stay on the right path. With free weekly group therapy sessions, a custom relapse prevention plan and the support of our Alumni Network, you will have everything you need to succeed.

Get help for grief and addiction today

The weight of addiction can make it feel like there’s no way out, especially when grief is holding you back. But at Oasis Runcorn, we believe in the power of recovery. Our comprehensive treatment plans are designed to help you navigate the complexities of addiction while finding healthier ways to move through the grieving process. Reach out to us today and choose a life of peace and purpose.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does grief counselling involve?

Grief counselling is a gentle, supportive space where you can unpack the complex emotions that come with loss. It is not about rushing you through the stages of grief but rather about helping you navigate them at your own pace. Your counsellors will guide you in understanding your feelings, finding healthy ways to express them and gradually beginning to heal.

How to get help for grief?

Getting help for grief starts with reaching out to someone you trust, as sharing your feelings can be the first step toward healing. This can be a partner, a close friend or a healthcare professional. If you feel overwhelmed, consider speaking with a counsellor or therapist specialising in grief. At Oasis Runcorn, we offer a safe and supportive environment where you can work through your grief and begin the journey toward recovery from addiction.

What addictions are commonly associated with grief?

When grief becomes overwhelming, people often seek out ways to numb the pain or escape reality. For some, this can lead to addictions like alcohol or drugs or activities like gambling. Others may find themselves struggling with grief and sex addiction, using intimacy as a way to fill the void left by loss. These coping mechanisms might offer temporary relief but they can quickly spiral into deeper issues, complicating the grieving process.

(Click here to see works cited)

Mendoza, Marilyn. “The Role of Grief in Addiction.” Psychology Today, 11 February 2023, https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/understanding-grief/202302/the-role-of-grief-in-addiction. Accessed 29 August 2024.
UK Rehab. “Dual Diagnosis | Co-Occurring Disorders.” UK Rehab, https://www.uk-rehab.com/mental-health/dual-diagonosis/. Accessed 29 August 2024.
UK Rehab. “Grief and Addiction | Mental Health and Addiction.” UK Rehab, https://www.uk-rehab.com/mental-health/grief-and-addiction/. Accessed 29 August 2024.
Chambers, R Andrew, and Sue C Wallingford. “On Mourning and Recovery: Integrating Stages of Grief and Change Toward a Neuroscience-Based Model of Attachment Adaptation in Addiction Treatment.” Psychodynamic psychiatry vol. 45,4 (2017): 451-473. doi:10.1521/pdps.2017.45.4.451. Accessed 29 August 2024.
Caparrós, Beatriz, and Laura Masferrer. “Coping Strategies and Complicated Grief in a Substance Use Disorder Sample.” Frontiers in psychology vol. 11 624065. 15 Jan. 2021, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.624065. Accessed 29 August 2024.