A help guide about Addiction Denial

What is addiction denial?

Addiction denial occurs when someone has trouble accepting the seriousness of their substance use or its impact. They might believe they’re still in control or that the consequences aren’t as bad as others say. This often leads to downplaying or justifying their behaviour, making it easier to avoid confronting the reality of addiction.

Over time, this mindset can create a barrier to seeking help, even when it’s clear that change would be beneficial.

The sense of denial can be so strong that recognising the need for support becomes challenging, leaving the person stuck in their current situation.

What causes addiction denial?

Addiction denial happens for various reasons, many of which are tied to how a person perceives their own substance use. Research shows that most people with substance use disorders (SUD) don’t view their behaviour as problematic, even if they meet the criteria for addiction. This lack of problem recognition is critical because it can predict whether someone seeks treatment, completes it and stays in recovery.

Only about 6% of people with SUD feel they need help for their drug or alcohol use, making it clear that denial is widespread.

Problem recognition tends to increase when someone experiences severe consequences due to their substance use, such as losing a job, facing legal issues or dealing with family breakdowns. In contrast, individuals who have stable employment or believe treatment won’t add value to their lives are less likely to see their substance use as problematic.

This suggests that those who remain functional in their daily lives are more likely to stay in denial, as they haven’t faced the significant life disruptions that might force them to confront their addiction.

Another critical element is the stigma surrounding addiction. Stigma involves labelling, stereotyping and discrimination against those with substance abuse problems, which can lead individuals to hide their substance use to avoid being judged. This fear of being labelled as an addict may push people deeper into denial.

People struggling with SUD are often aware of the negative perceptions society holds toward addiction, and these stigmatising attitudes can further contribute to denial, making it harder for them to acknowledge the need for help.

What are some classic examples of addiction denial?

It’s not always easy to know when someone is in denial about their addiction, especially if they seem genuinely convincing with their reasoning. The reality is addiction can be difficult to recognise, even by the person living it.

Below, we’ll look at some of the classic things a person in denial might say, as well as the situations they may find themselves in if they’re struggling to acknowledge their addiction.

• “I can stop whenever I want.” 

This is one of the most common phrases, as it downplays the severity of the problem. The person might genuinely believe they have control, even though their behaviours suggest otherwise.

• Blaming external circumstances

You might hear things like, “I’ve had a rough week,” or “It’s just stress from work,” used as explanations for why they’re using substances more frequently. This shifts attention away from the real issue and puts it on temporary problems.

• Comparing to others

Statements like, “I’m not as bad as so-and-so,” or “Other people do way more than I do,” are often used to minimise their usage by comparing it to someone else’s.

• Isolating themselves

A person in denial might start avoiding social situations where their behaviour could be questioned, or they may become defensive if someone brings up concerns.

• Only acknowledging part of the problem

They might say, “I do drink a bit too much, but I don’t do it all the time,” or “I only use when I’m out with friends.” This shows selective acknowledgement while still avoiding the deeper issue.

• Rationalising or justifying use

They may convince themselves (and try to convince others) that their use is for a good reason, like helping them relax or cope with life’s challenges. Statements such as, “I deserve this after the day I’ve had,” are common.

I feel my loved one is showing signs of addiction denial – what can I do?

If you’ve determined that your loved one may be in denial about their addiction, you might feel apprehensive about starting the conversation, especially if you’re worried they could react badly. Below, we offer advice on how to approach them about both their addiction and their denial.

1. Approach the conversation gently

It’s really hard to see someone you care about struggling with addiction, especially when they might not even recognise it themselves. If you feel your loved one is in denial, one of the best things you can do is approach the conversation gently. Try not to accuse or point fingers, as this can make them defensive. Instead, share your concerns from a place of care, using phrases like, “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed really stressed lately and I’m worried about how it’s affecting you.”

2. Listen without judgement

It’s important to listen, too. They might feel judged or misunderstood, so giving them space to talk without interrupting can help them feel heard. Encourage them to reflect on their behaviour without pushing them too hard. Sometimes, offering to support them in taking small steps—like talking to someone, seeing a therapist, or just reading more about the issue—can open the door to change.

3. Be patient, don’t force acceptance

Remember, you can’t force them to accept there’s a problem but you can be there to support them when they’re ready. Addiction denial often takes time to break through, and patience will be key in helping your loved one come to terms with their situation.

4. Educate yourself about addiction

In addition to approaching the conversation with care, it can also help to educate yourself about addiction. Understanding what denial looks like and why it happens might give you more patience and insight when speaking to your loved one. Denial often comes from fear—fear of judgement, fear of admitting there’s a problem or even fear of losing control over a substance they’ve come to rely on.

5. Set boundaries to protect yourself

It might also be helpful to set boundaries if their behaviour starts affecting you negatively. While supporting them is important, you should still take care of yourself emotionally. Letting them know how their actions are impacting you can plant a seed of awareness without creating too much pressure. For example, saying, “It really hurts to see you going through this,” or, “I’m here for you, but I can’t watch you harm yourself this way,” can set a clear boundary while expressing love and concern.

6. Involve a professional

Lastly, consider involving a professional. Sometimes an outside perspective from a therapist or addiction counsellor can help break through the denial in a way that feels less personal. If they’re not open to it yet, you can still seek advice on how to best support them while they’re in this difficult phase. Knowing you have support will give you strength, too.

Where can I find addiction support?

If your loved one is struggling with addiction but is in denial, Oasis Runcorn is here to support both of you. While we don’t provide specific intervention services, we offer comprehensive rehab programmes for a variety of substances to help them begin their recovery journey. Our compassionate team understands how difficult this situation is, and we are ready to offer the professional care needed to help your loved one get back on track. Reach out to us today to learn more about how we can assist.