How to help an alcoholic partner

It’s incredibly painful to see someone you love struggle with alcohol addiction, especially when it’s your partner. The emotional toll it takes can leave you feeling overwhelmed, unsure of how to help and desperate for answers. While every situation is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, knowing where to start can make a difference.

If you suspect that your partner has an alcohol problem, this guide is here to offer support, practical advice and steps you can take to help them through this difficult time.

At what point is a person classed as an alcoholic?

It can be challenging to pinpoint when problematic drinking crosses the line into full-blown alcohol addiction. Take, for example, a person who’s going through a difficult time and turns to alcohol as a way to cope. Does this automatically make them an alcoholic? In some cases, no. In other cases, maybe. This is just one example of many where the lines can become blurred, making it difficult for both the person and their partner to realise the seriousness of the situation.

This uncertainty can sometimes lead to a lack of urgency in addressing the addiction. It’s important to understand that what might seem like just a phase or a coping mechanism could actually be a sign of something more concerning.

Below are six signs of alcoholism, interwoven with scenarios that you may recognise in your partner’s behaviour, which could indicate they’re struggling with alcohol addiction:

1. Increasing tolerance

Your partner now needs to drink significantly more than they used to in order to feel the effects of alcohol. For instance, what once was a casual glass of wine with dinner has now turned into multiple bottles to wind down at night. This shift in consumption can be a red flag that their body is becoming dependent on alcohol.

2. Neglecting responsibilities

You may notice that important commitments are being pushed aside. Maybe they’ve started missing work, skipping social events or letting household tasks slip. For example, if your partner used to be diligent about picking up the kids from school but has recently “forgotten” or was too hungover to manage, this could be a sign of deeper issues.

3. Drinking to cope

If your partner reaches for alcohol in times of stress, sadness or anxiety, it could be a sign that they’re using it as an emotional crutch. Imagine your partner is stressed from work, and instead of talking it out or finding other ways to unwind, they immediately head to the liquor cabinet. When alcohol becomes their go-to solution for emotional pain, it may indicate dependency.

4. Hiding or lying about drinking

Maybe you’ve found empty bottles hidden around the house or noticed your partner sneaking drinks when they think no one is watching. Or perhaps they’ve been minimising how much they’ve been drinking when you ask, saying, “It’s just one drink”, when in reality, it’s far more. This secretive behaviour is often linked to alcohol addiction.

5. Failed attempts to cut back

Has your partner ever expressed concern about their drinking and made promises to cut down or quit, only to start drinking again shortly afterwards? Maybe they’ve said, “I’ll stop after this weekend,” yet the drinking continues. Repeated unsuccessful attempts to control or stop their drinking can signal an alcohol addiction.

6. Alcohol-centred life

Social activities and conversations increasingly revolve around drinking. For example, if your partner only wants to go places where alcohol is available or every event becomes an excuse to drink, it may suggest that alcohol is taking priority in their life. Even casual outings like dinners or gatherings with friends may seem incomplete without a drink in hand.

 

Confronting your loved one over their drinking

If you’ve recognised some of the signs of alcohol addiction but still feel unsure about how severe the situation is, the next step could be confronting your partner about their drinking. This isn’t meant to be a ‘telling off’ session but rather an opportunity to explore the issue together gently. Approach the conversation with calmness, respect and an open mind. Your goal is to put the feelers out and see how they respond to what’s being said.

In some cases, simply bringing their behaviours to light can be enough for your partner to re-evaluate their relationship with alcohol. Being made aware of how their actions are affecting themselves and those around them may encourage a positive change.

However, be prepared for a range of reactions. Sometimes, your confrontation might be met with confusion, defensiveness or even denial. If this happens, don’t lose heart. It’s not uncommon for someone struggling with alcohol to be resistant to the idea that they have a problem.

If, after this initial conversation, they’re unwilling to talk and their drinking continues, it might be time to consider a more structured approach, like an alcohol intervention.

When is an alcohol addiction intervention needed?

An alcohol intervention aims to help your loved one recognise the severity of their drinking habits and the impact it’s having on themselves and those around them. It’s a structured and carefully planned process that involves close friends, family and sometimes a professional, all of whom come together to express their concerns in a supportive, non-judgmental way.

The main goals of an alcohol intervention are:

• Awareness: Help your loved one realise how their drinking affects their health and relationships.
• Encouraging change: Motivate them to take action, whether it’s seeking help or reducing their alcohol intake.
• Offering support: Show they’re not alone, with friends and family offering emotional and practical help.
• Presenting a plan: Provide clear next steps, like booking therapy or entering rehab.
• Setting boundaries: Establish limits on enabling behaviour and outline consequences if help is refused.

If you feel as though you need help with the alcohol intervention stage, make sure to reach out to Oasis Runcorn for further guidance. While we don’t offer professional intervention services, we do offer information on what to do next and how you can find treatment options for your partner.

My partner is ready for alcohol rehab – where can I find support?

Now that the intervention with your loved one has been successful and they’re ready to take the next step, it’s time to consider professional help. At Oasis Runcorn, we offer a comprehensive alcohol addiction programme designed to support both your partner and you through this crucial journey.

Our programme includes:

• Detox: Safely managing alcohol withdrawal symptoms is essential. Our detox process is overseen by experienced medical staff, providing round-the-clock care to ensure a comfortable and safe detox experience.
• Therapeutic support: Our treatment includes a variety of therapies, such as 1-on-1 counselling, group therapy and holistic treatments like yoga and art therapy. These help address the underlying causes of alcohol addiction and equip your loved one with the tools for long-term recovery.
• Family support: We know how difficult this process can be for you, too. That’s why we offer family therapy and support groups to help you navigate this journey together.
• Aftercare: Recovery doesn’t end when rehab does. We provide ongoing aftercare, including support groups and alcohol relapse prevention strategies, to ensure your loved one stays on the path to sobriety.

What’s next?

The best way to help your partner overcome alcohol addiction is by finding the right professional support. At Oasis Runcorn, our comprehensive alcohol addiction programme provides the care, guidance and treatment they need to achieve long-term recovery. From detox to therapy and aftercare, we offer compassionate, expert support every step of the way.

Take the first step today by contacting Oasis Runcorn and give your loved one the help they deserve.